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My Story

What On Earth Am I Here

 

WHAT ON EARTH AM I HERE FOR?
WHAT ON EARTH AM I HERE FOR?

What on earth am I here for? That is a question that has haunted me ever since I can remember. When I was young, I thought that becoming a physician and helping heal people would be my why, but I finished medical school, became a pediatrician, and still felt empty.

 

True, I always loved my patients. I helped them medically, emotionally, and, many times, socially by getting out of my comfort zone. I was often criticized for not being very professional and for stepping over the boundary of professionalism by having empathy and love beyond what the medical field teaches.

 

Then, as my kids were growing, I felt the pain of adolescence, their struggles, their temptations, their difficulty to live the life that fulfills, and their peer pressure. I started a youth TV show: “We Will Live Our Lives Well,” tackling adolescent issues such as Why not Sex Before Marriage, Why Not Pornography, Peer Pressure, Alcoholism, and Drug Abuse. The show was watched by 40 million people a week all over the Middle East and North Africa and Arab speakers in the USA and Canada. I filmed 100 episodes.

 

I felt I was on a journey into the unknown, not having found my life passion yet. Then, I realized that many youths have a dark secret, a secret they have never shared with anyone, yet it affects their whole life: their behavior, their worldview, their relationships, their career, and their future. This secret is so dark that they have unconsciously decided to either forget it, deny it ever existed, or act out from their pain. God has given me the blessing of attracting broken, hurting people. I have heard the exact phrase so many times, “I don't know why I am telling you this. I have never told anybody this before, but I feel you will understand me.” This secret they keep is that sexual abuse touched them at some point in their lives. This is why they were on drugs; this is why they are on alcohol; this is why they can have no proper fulfilling relationships; this is why they feel they are not worthy of love; they live with guilt and shame and either hop from one relationship to another, whether with same or different sex, in search of their warped understanding of love. And some become entirely hostile to sex.

 

It was then that I found my life purpose: to bring healing to the abused and to prevent it from happening whenever I can. Being a pediatrician, I believe that prevention is better than cure. I realized I knew nothing about sexual abuse and that medical school was lacking in teaching about this subject. When starting a challenging TV show about sexual abuse, I decided I needed to equip myself with a bachelor of psychotherapy with a focus on antisexual abuse. With some research, I found out that one in every four girls and one in every six boys are sexually abused before the age of 18. The stats mortified me. Only 10% of cases are reported because of the shame, guilt, and stigma connected with sexual abuse, which means that 90% of cases go unreported. That statistic further horrified me.[1] [1]

 

We called the campaign NOT GUILTY since it is never the victim’s fault when sexual abuse happens. After raising funds, writing, and producing 23 episodes, no TV channel had the guts to air them because they would not attract ads. It seems the media only wants the bang of scandalous news but is not genuinely interested in the welfare of those who have been abused or might be vulnerable to abuse.

 

In 2012, I started Not Guilty, a nonprofit with the aim to flood the Middle East with antisexual abuse materials, provide support, and deliver prevention services to children, parents, teachers, and social workers, thus empowering parents and children. Most of the schools we went to had a percentage of 15-25% of students who were victims of sexual abuse. We were always 25% too late.

 

Year to date, we have reached over 9,000 students in 60 schools, 3000 kids, 2500 teachers, and over 4000 parents. We have trained over 80 trainers in Egypt.

 

Once a pediatrician, always a pediatrician. I believe in prevention.  Because Not Guilty was the first nonprofit to work in prevention, I gratefully accepted the Ashoka Prize (an award for courageous action), for social entrepreneurs which is given to the world’s leading social entrepreneurs who learn from the patterns in their innovations

and mobilize a global community to embrace these new frameworks and build an “everyone a changemaker” world. UN Women chose me to work with them as a consultant on the “5 Safe Cities Free of Violence against Women and Girls” Global Programme in Quito, Ecuador; Cairo, Egypt; New Delhi, India; Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea; and Kigali, Rwanda.

 

In 2013, I visited Stanford University as part of an Ashoka team to speak about the non-profit Not Guilty. I looked around and found they had an app for everything. Soon after, I created the app S.K.I.T., an anti-sexual abuse mobile app for kids. A short time later, the app was adopted by Orange, Egypt's biggest cell phone company.

As the mother of two boys, I knew at some stage in their young lives, I would not be there to protect them. With the talk of the ‘first sleep-over,’ I realized I needed to broach the delicate subject of how they could protect themselves from unwanted interference. Forewarned is forearmed. Better safe than sorry.

I'll repeat what I shared earlier: as a pediatrician, I believe that prevention is better than cure.

 

We At Not Guilty believe that from a young age, children need to learn that their body is their body and no one has the right to touch it inappropriately or in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable. What Happens After #MeToo is an essential book and an excellent tool for keeping our children safe from sexual abuse, harassment, and bullying.

Today, you can choose to look away, but you can't say you didn't know. What will you do to protect the children you love from sexual abuse, bullying, and harassment? Will you look away or seek to gain a greater understanding on how to help? You can arm yourself with the knowledge to prepare hearts, expose lies, and heal wounds through What Happens After #MeToo.

I’d love the opportunity to speak to your community or organization. I also offer leadership and safety training. I invite you to visit my website at www.notguiltyinc.org or email us at laila@notguiltyinc.org 



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