Stage 3 — Remembering

According to The Courage to Heal by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis, remembering abuse can occur in different ways.

Some survivors have always remembered what happened.

Others remember only parts of the abuse.

Still others may not remember anything until memories return later in life.

For many survivors, forgetting can actually be a protective mechanism. The mind may block traumatic memories until the survivor feels safe enough to process them.

Remembering rarely happens all at once.

Instead, memories may return slowly, like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.

They may appear as:

• flashbacks

• emotional reactions

• dreams

• physical sensations

Because remembering can be emotionally intense, it is important for survivors to have support while processing these experiences.